All last year, I wanted a do-over. COVID and its effects on our world and our lives was becoming extremely annoying. Plus, I had some strange and crazy medical issues. Not unlike the rest of the world, I was changed. Every day became a new adventure. An adventure that needed to stop even though I knew I was not alone. COVID restrictions were enough. Did I have to experience health issues as well? Yes, I did. And for good reason.
I want to be honest. These annoyances became my fear. Fear of almost everything – from lack of medical care to doing the simple tasks that could possibly have health repercussions. In the past, I have experienced multiple bouts with cancer. Never, ever did I feel the way I did with these new health concerns. This feeling was so new I sought out my counselor. She gave me great advice, but the work to allay my fear was on me.
It is okay to be fearful, but not to lose oneself in this fear. There were months I would only read, and watch tv. I was not used to being idle. I had my new book endeavor and for a nanosecond I allowed one negative, mean review to add to my debilitating fear. It was so not me. I realized I was the only one who could induce this fear. It was my own. I had to take ownership in order to insure its defeat. I had to face fear head on.
I struggled to do the things that were easy for me in the past. I tried not to feel sorry for myself. It made me feel defeated. So, I adopted this mantra. Probably not the most the most positive but it helped. Over and over, I repeated it could be worse. On the advice of a friend, I began visiting a local shrine. It helped to reconnect myself spiritually. I slowly, like the rewiring of brain synapses, am achieving that goal. Honestly, the real me felt lightyears away, yet I was waiting inside myself.
One day while talking to my sister, I was reminded of the series of books called Godwink by Squire D. Rushnell. Have you read any? If you haven’t pick one up at your library or local bookstore. You won’t be disappointed. Godwinks are everywhere. Whether it is a cardinal peering at you from outside, a gentle goosebump when thinking of a loved one, a phone call from a beloved friend who you were just thinking of, or a song on the radio. Be aware and you will experience one. I promise you.
The Monday after the New Year, I was driving to a doctor’s appointment. In my mind, I thought for just a moment, here we go again 2022. Are you going to suck too? I was confronted by a Godwink. I had the radio tuned to my local pop/spiritual station. The Afters’ song, Life is Beautiful, was playing. It was the first time I truly listened to the lyrics. Well, it was certainly a Godwink for me. Not only were the lyrics apropos for the New Year but for all of us each day.
It’s a couple of days later and I am still reminded of my Godwink. I hope you too can remember that Life is Beautiful because it truly is!!! May your New Year be blessed with much love and many Godwinks!
Through the window
I see you waiting
You are smiling
‘Cause I’m coming
Your eyes are a story
An ocean of memories
Pictures of faces and places
And all of the things
That make us feel like we have it all
All of the times
That make us realize
We have it all
We have it all
Living and dying
Laughing or crying
If we have the whole world or have nothing
I know there are long nights
But we’ll make it
With every sunrise comes a new light
And all of the things
That make us feel like we have it all
All of the times
That make us realize
We have it all
We have it all
Life is beautiful
Life is beautiful
Life is beautiful
A father’s love
A wedding dance
New Year’s dreams
A toast with friends
A soldier coming home from war
The faith, the hope of so much more
A brand new life, a mother’s prayer
Shooting stars, ocean air
A lover’s kiss, and hard goodbyes
Fireworks, Christmas lights
These are things that make us feel alive
These are the times that make us realize
Life is beautiful
Life is beautiful
These are things that make us feel alive
Life is beautiful
These are the times that make us realize
Songwriters: Jordan Nicholas Mohilowski / Joshua Miguel Havens / Matthew Dwight Fuqua / Daniel Ryan Ostebo
